Sincerity

It's been forever since I've written. I had pretty much abandoned this blog. But some recent events made me think that I need to write. I'm in my head now more than I have ever been (since most of my time is spent sitting in front of a book). This forces me to get out of my head a little.

One of my fellow law students died last week. As far as I can tell from the limited information we've received, he committed suicide. What a horrible thing for his family to go through. :(

Even though I don't have a clue as to what was going on with him, his death and the memorial service put together by the school got me to thinking about how easy it is for people to fall through the cracks. And how easy it is for the rest of us to let them.

There is a ridiculous social dynamic in law school. I say ridiculous because in a place filled with people learning how to be professionals, you would expect maturity. Instead, what you get is a repeat experience of high school (only this time everyone can legally drink and has more emotional baggage). The result is that very few people are genuine, and even those that are aren't genuine all the time. In fact it is risky to be genuine. And unlike in high school, you have precious little time to socialize. So if making friends doesn't come easy, most people probably give up. Or they are just friendly with others but no one really knows them "very well."

I sometimes feel like no one here really knows me. Sure, they know that I am Therese from Texas and that I am usually game to go out for a beer on Fridays. But they don't know much about what makes me tick, mostly because I am afraid to be genuine like everyone else. This concern bubbled up inside me when I was at Joseph's memorial service. If we are all afraid to be genuine, we can never help each other.
Perhaps there is something I can do that, in an indirect way, might honor his memory. I can resist the pressure to be anything less than genuine. No faking that I am not stressed or that I have it together when I don't. Maybe, hopefully, sincerity is just as contagious as faking it has become.